And, that manager is going to have two options: attempt to date every woman he’s messaging (and try to sleep with them), or he’s going to pick the prettiest of the bunch. So, it may seem great that you’ve matched with the handsome, well-dressed, muscular manager of his own company, but so are all the other women on the dating app. The red shows that men are distributing their likes to a variety of women, while most women are liking the same 10-15% of men. When getting online, women in particular seem to get into a weird mode where only the absolute most handsome and successful guy will suffice.Īnother issue related to this is that most women are matching with the same 10-15% of handsome, successful guys. And, women are only swiping right on 4.5% of male profiles on Tinder (data contained within the full study). OK Cupid’s research shows that women ultimately find roughly 80% of men online to be unattractive. So, nobody chooses to settle down with anyone, leading to ridiculous frustration.Īnother reality is that daters in 2020 are just plain picky, and online dating is partially to blame. And, those guys all have options as well. So, when presented with 30 decent men online, it’s very hard to narrow it down to just one, or focus your emotional and social attention to just one. This is called the “choice paradox” and it is basically that the more options we have, the less likely we are capable of making a good choice, if we can make one at all. This may be because online dating is unnatural for many reasons.ĭespite people generally resenting online dating, we also feel compelled to use it as if no other option exists.Īnother reason finding love is so hard isn’t due to a lack of choice, but because we have so much choice. Relationships that start from online dating aren’t as likely to last, so there’s that. Most users of online dating are finding that the process of liking, matching, texting, and meeting someone is a lot of wasted effort, after sorting through the time wasters, ghosters, and fakes. It’s no wonder 28% of men under 30 haven’t had sex in the last year, an all-time high for men of that age group compared to anytime in history.ĭespite the promise of online dating, one study found that 70% of Tinder users didn’t even go on a date from the app! Even E-Harmony’s own data shows that most couples don’t meet online. A recent Pew Survey found most people think that dating sucks and a lot of people have just stopped looking for love. Overall loneliness is on the rise too, as we become more socially disconnected. Despite claims of a “hook up culture,” people just aren’t having as much sex as they used to either. And, it’s not just the emotional side of relationships that are failing. Research shows that people simply aren’t dating, committing, or marrying as much. In this era of information overload and access to thousands of people (and the advice of millions), things should be easier, but they aren’t.Īnd, this isn’t just me listing a few anecdotes. They have taken the advice from well-meaning (but, sadly, mistaken) friends and family about how to “land a man” (or woman). And, this is after trying matchmaking, Tinder, Bumble, Ok Cupid, Hinge, virtually every other dating app, and attending singles events. Yet, we have many clients and friends who simply can’t seem to find the right person. Before you read this article (in which I’m laying out some of the negatives), please check out our Facebook page where we’ll be focusing on the solutions rather just the problems! Why is it so hard to find love? You’d think that it would be easy to find love in 2021…We have dating apps, meet-ups, online forums, social media, and more. Why Is Finding Love So Difficult in 2021?
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